Turning Misery Into Happiness in Business...Is Where the Magic Happens!

Have you ever had the experience of waiting a very long time for someone to get back to you in business? Since business requires co-operation, this delay without feedback can be quite stressful. It only leaves you doubting yourself – and the person you’re doing business with. Being on the other end of “We’ll get back to you when we’re ready,” leaves too much energy and information out of the equation. How does this idea work in their lives? Do you think that they have unlimited patience? Of course not! They probably want good things for themselves done yesterday, but others, will simply have to wait. So, once again, that’s the whole problem, right there. If people’s time is equally important to them – this is where the conflict comes in...

So, to have a smooth and enjoyable relationship – personal or professional – each side needs to think more about the experience of the other person. Not more than themselves, but to realize what’s on the line for both of you. That’s conscientiousness. It’s a long word that simply means both people are aware of what’s happening, where that situation can go, and what’s at stake for the partnership or in working together. I’m working to make this common scenario better for everyone in business, including myself. (That’s where the rub is, and it isn’t a nice one!) It grates down the energy and motivation a person or business has to move forward; so that when you do finally get to the point of doing business, the enthusiasm on both ends is far less than it was before. So, in essence, you’re building “up” from a much lower foundation, which requires more effort now. And, you can only realize this if you’re paying close attention to your feelings, your experience, and how you relate to others in a particular way. Making positive circumstances and conditions happen requires a lot more knowledge than just a product or service, or how the numbers add-up. It’s really how the whole package fits together. These are the logistics of your business. If you’re only concerned with what’s coming in – eventually, the desire to collaborate on both sides begins to fall apart. And, that’s not good for what you wanted for yourself, or your business…

Energy will, in fact, hold situations together for a little while – but the glue is kept in place by “our” relationship. That’s why it’s so important to understand what each side is looking for. The relationship itself and the positive experience of that – is the bridge between each person, and the positive outcome we wanted to create. So, see how one positive feeling and action is just encouraging another – from the other side? In my experience this is a large part of what’s missing in business. When one side can only see and focus more on what they’re getting – the process that’s taking both of you “there” begins to break down. I’m here to shed a light on these dynamics, so that each side can get even more than what they expected. This isn’t a critical point to stay on. It’s the springboard into where each side is getting much more out of their deal for their efforts. What at the beginning looks like it’s for the “other person” is really just as much for you. When people lean closer towards each other, they’re meeting in the middle in a place that feels really good – to be there…And, that’s where the magic happens!

So, it’s no coincidence that when people are only interested in their side – the other side feels less – which makes them want to give less, too. See the ping-pong here? That’s just cause and effect, and it doesn’t feel good for anyone. What was supposed to be a very enjoyable experience – becomes far less, on both sides. No amount of dodging, ducking or excuses will work here. This is true for everyone. So, to gain more for yourself – what’s producing more for each side, needs to be embraced. If this is what’s adding-up to the positive outcome you were looking for, then you need to stay close to that guardrail. Rather than being limited here, it’s actually a lifeline. It’s how you go straight towards what you wanted to happen. And, that’s why trying to wiggle for “just your position” isn’t necessary. Each person should already understand that each side wants as much as it can have, for itself. That’s self-interest and it’s very healthy to desire that. But when this comes at the expense of who you’re trying to do business with – that’s where the conflict is. It’s not a conflict between each person, it’s a conflict in the smooth and enjoyable results that you wanted to create together. Those who make it personal aren’t very close to goalpost yet. It’s not about you, or even them – it’s about “if” those positive outcomes will be created using this method. And, that’s it. (A moral is only the quickest, shortest and hassle-free route to what you really wanted.)

When you stay close to what’s giving you the outcome you desired, what you wanted will be there – for both of you. Now you can hopefully see that this is a combination of being as selfish as possible, and also as giving as possible, too. The combination of your positive energy and actions are creating the most gains. The kind gesture appears that it’s only for the other side at first; but this method only gives "us" the most that we can have for ourselves, and the other person at the same time. That’s why this idea works better than any other business model or method…

A selfish person doesn’t get past this part, because they’re only focused on themselves. While the process of getting what you want, needs co-operation from both sides to make the outcome possible. The master key is for both sides to realize that what you’re bringing to the table is creating more – than each side – has had before. (See how this perspective changes how you’re looking at what’s in it for you?) It’s a blending of what you both have that causes the increase. When you look further into this, you’ll see that what you wanted will in fact be there; it just involves a little bit from each side to make a bigger outcome happen. That’s why – you’re both there! Get it now? You're both making it possible for each other to get even more – of what you wanted. So, what’s not to like about this idea?

When you come to a meeting or are plaining to do business with someone, if you can realize that in working “together” you’re allowing something more to be created for each one of you, then – you’ve got it. Like Alchemists or Master chefs, you’re putting both of your ingredients together to literally make something that wasn’t here – before. So, realizing the fantastic opportunity that you both really have together...Is Where the Magic Happens!

See how this approach works for your next business endeavor. I’m sure you’ll both be quite surprised with your results.